Healthy Sexuality

Intimacy and Its Benefits to a Person’s Well-Being

Intimacy is the closeness that people share with each other. This builds up between persons with a personal relationship over time as people grow to care for each other and become more comfortable with each other. Intimacy has been wrongly used to mean sex; one can build intimacy with sex while it is also possible to have sex with no intimacy (Wilson, 2016).

According to Marin et al. (2020), intimacy is important for a healthy life. Every intimate action triggers an emotional connection, strengthening a person’s relationships. It makes a person feel valued and helps in building trust. There are numerous benefits to intimacy, including boosting one’s immune system. For example, frequent hugging of people that one loves lowers one’s blood pressure as well as reduces the risk of heart disease and prostate cancer. Additionally, intimacy can help in prolonging a person’s life by approximately 8 years. A person that has an intimate relationship is also happier because of the release of the feel-good hormones; the muscles also relax, and tension is released.

The Christian person is welcome to have an intimate relationship with God when they accept the free gift of salvation that was availed by the sacrifice of Jesus on the cross. When a Christian views God the Father as a loving Father that yearns to relate to them on an intimate level, this has positive outcomes such as peace of mind in times of life’s storms, wisdom to know what to do, and joy in knowing that one is not alone in this life’s journey (Ephrata, n.d.).

The Purpose Of Abstinence Before Marriage

The main purpose of abstaining from sex is to prevent unwanted pregnancy and STIs. It also helps a person, especially teens, to focus on other, more important issues such as education, hobbies, and sports. Sometimes sexual relationships are intimate, and when one engages in sex, they are more than likely to have a personal and close relationship with the sexual partner. In the event that such a relationship breaks up, it may have serious negative consequences such as depression and anti-social behavior (Mongeau & Knight, 2015).

From a Christian perspective, abstinence is advocated because the Bible teaches the same. In 1^st Thessalonians 3:4-7, Paul states that it is God’s will that everyone should avoid from sexual immorality and failure to do so will attract the wrath and punishment of God. He also says that brethren should not lure each other to sexually immoral acts, and instead, each person should learn how to control their own body.

Essential Elements/Factors for Determining Whether Someone Is Practicing Healthy Sexuality

Sexuality experts have identified several healthy sexuality characteristics, including the ability to integrate sexuality into their daily life rather than being an external event that occurs independently. It could also include companionship, tenderness, and affection between two consenting persons. In a continuous sexual relationship, both persons ought to be aware of the significance of sex in their lives. Although sex should not be exaggerated, it should be considered important (Watter & Hall, 2020).

Healthy sexuality includes appreciating one’s body, seeking information on reproduction, and understanding that the development of humans involves sexual development. Other parameters include interactions with both genders in an appropriate and respectful manner, respecting and understanding sexual orientation, appropriate expression of intimacy and love, as well as development and maintenance of meaningful relationships while at the same time avoiding manipulative and exploitative ones. Further components of acceptance of love and communication; receiving and giving pleasure and expression of emotion; as well as the capability of controlling and enjoying reproductive and sexual behavior without feeling shame, fear, or guilt, all are part of healthy sexuality (Balswik & Balswik, 2008).

God’s definition of healthy sexuality is where a person is aware of the gender that He created them; God does not confuse one gender for another. The Bible says that God is perfect (Mathew 5:48) and therefore, whatever He does is perfect. He also created man and woman to procreate and fill the world; hence, a person with healthy sexuality should be one who desires to have intimate sexual relationships with the opposite sex and preferably for purposes of procreation. Additionally, the Bible describes abnormal sexuality in Leviticus 18:22-23 as homosexuality and bestiality.

Steps a Couple May Take To Develop Intimacy

A couple can take several steps to create and maintain intimacy in their relationship besides having sexual relationships. Being trustworthy and respectful are related intricately; where neither is lacking, intimacy is impossible to share. Life has several ups and downs, and when a partner supports the other during these times, then intimacy is created. A couple can develop the art of listening and helping the other as this may be the only thing the other needs in times of difficulty or elevation. Also, a couple should be curious with each other as showing that one is interested in their partner’s life will let them know that one is concerned and cares about what goes on in their life when the two are apart. To achieve the above, a couple will need to work on their individual selves. This will call for them to learn to be vulnerable by accepting themselves, expressing themselves, and trusting themselves (Gurman, Lebow, & Snyder, 2015).

The Bible summarizes, in 1 Corinthians 14:4-8, what people and a couple can do to develop intimacy: “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, and it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres. Love never fails.”

Conclusions on Healthy Sexuality

As a Christian, I believe the Bible holds all truths concerning life, including healthy sexuality. God is all-knowing, and He knew that man would deviate from what is normal to the abnormal. That is why God specifically warned about what is acceptable sexuality and what is not in the book of Leviticus. Times have changed, and science as well, but God has not. God cannot be encapsulated in time, and hence when man thinks time and science have changed, to God, it is still the same ‘day.’ With that view, He knew that man would look for reasons to deviate from normal to abnormal and, therefore, pre-emptied man’s thoughts. Also, he knew man would need guidance on what an intimate relationship looks like and how to achieve the same. To fulfill this, He expressed His love for man through the sacrificial death of Jesus so that man could be intimate with Him. He also spoke through the Apostle Paul on what real love and intimacy with another human being ought to be. So in short, the Bible is the blueprint of healthy sexuality and intimacy and in my opinion, should be the only guide for a person who questions either of these.

References

Balswick, J. K., & Balswick, J. O. (2008). Authentic human sexuality: An integrated Christian approach. InterVarsity Press.

Ephrata, R. Christian Care & Concern For Marriage, Divorce, and Remarriage.

Gurman, A. S., Lebow, J. L., & Snyder, D. K. (Eds.). (2015). Clinical handbook of couple therapy. Guilford Publications.

Marin, K., Tobia, G., Bakhoum, A., Naghdechi, L., Korouri, S., & IsHak, W. W. (2020). Sex, Intimacy, and Well-Being. The Handbook of Wellness Medicine, 332.

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